There’s a subtle difference between being who you are and being who you’re NOT, and without strengthening your awareness, you may not even realize when you’re shifting between the two!
For example, when I was growing up it was customary, especially for boys, to not show their true feelings. Sensitivity, sadness, or pain were signs of weakness. Toughness was a virtue, I was led to believe.
Then, in 2002, I attended a very inspiring seminar, which influenced me to start journaling — you can call it keeping a diary if you must. I haven’t stopped writing since.
In the beginning, I started writing about events that happened, parenting and work experiences, and random ideas that popped into my head during streams of consciousness.
Over time, I began being more honest in my writing. I wrote to myself about fears of failure, hopes and wishes, self-discoveries, and moments of clarity. Through the journaling, I started breaking down the sacred cows of my youth. I started tearing down the false walls and removing the dark veils I lived behind. I opened up and let myself be vulnerable.
And what I know from journaling is this: writing down on paper your thoughts, struggles, and feelings is liberating. It is a way to express your true self. But more so, it’s a way to become more honest and transparent with others.
I keep my journals in an unlocked chest. My family is free to look at or read them anytime they want. They can go right in and learn about my failings, that I have struggled, that I am not perfect.
It’s powerful for me to share these thoughts with my family. If you think that having those closest to you believe that you are perfect is a good strategy for life, you are kidding yourself. It’s the reverse. My transparency makes them feel more comfortable about being vulnerable when they make a mistake or struggle or fail. It makes them more open and honest with me.
Transparency is attractive. Being true to oneself is magnetic. And when we allow others to see us for who we are, regardless of our idiosyncrasies, faults, or imperfections, we ultimately allow them to be who they are. Being transparent not only allows one to be free, it opens the door for others to do the same.
We all want validation. I get it. But I will never compare myself to another person in order to prove myself. Trying to live someone else’s life is a pretty big waste of time and energy.
Accepting myself and being willing to recognize my flaws and make changes that I want to make is the only way to live a transparent life. And transparency is just one path on the journey to awareness, the necessary ingredient to living a fulfilled life.
So who do you choose to be? Somebody you are or somebody you’re not?
Want to learn more about the keys to developing awareness? Grab my book Better Than You Think on Amazon. Check out more about it on my website Robcommodariauthor.com.